This week your unequipped adventurers dance around an issue none of us are remotely prepared for - parenthood. What is the function of those tiny knee-knocking, ankle-biting shin pains? Can we sap them of their youth for our own immortality? Are they here for short term unpaid labor? Maybe their deeply unsettling cries are the reason we haven't been dominated by an alien race? Inquiring minds want to know.
We really take a hard look at ourselves this week, listeners, so don't neglect your own mirror viewing. We've raised the cap to a 15 minute minimum for this viewing. Really look at that mirror, guys. Imagine what your future child may look like, and pity them for inheriting that horrific nose of yours. Forever young and forever yours, Ben Hur.
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Guys, this episode is loaded. Loaded like those dice you used to cheat your little brother out of his Bionicle action figures. Loaded like a potato at a franchise steak house. Loaded like the only child of a mogul who made their money by secretly lobbying to write tax breaks for the wealthy into law.
But really, just the potato one. This week, our menagerie of hosts (sans moi - I know you'll all desperately miss me) discuss the cash cow that is the Disney movie franchise, and whether capitalizing on nostalgia ruins the quality of new interpretations of tales as old as time. Enjoy, friends, and as always, please spend at least ten minutes staring into the mirror once you're finished. Look for that world beyond the glass, where animals talk, children never grow up, and large corporations don't risk ruining your childhood in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Mystically yours, Ben Hur.
What's in a name? In this minisode, our dutiful hosts spitball names for the minor league team, the Gwinett Braves. It's riveting stuff, guys. Like, at one point, we even talk about cartoons. We're just that cool. Comment on this post with your own suggestions for a team name. Or just yell it into the closest drainpipe. We're always listening.
Oh, and don't worry about staring at the mirror after this episode. We'll let it slide, just this once. Toodles, Ben Hur. In episode two, two of your hosts sit down for a genial chat about garden gnomes. Put them on the doorstep, hide them in the bushes - whatever you want, they're your gnomes. As well we talk about riding with strangers and the ontological implications of towering trees. For a few moments we even consider life as part of an order of incarcerated uteruses. Uteri? And as always, when you finish the pod, spend at least ten minutes looking at your mirror. At. Least. Speculatively yours, Ben Hur. In our - inaugural? - episode we discuss our leader, The Great Pumpkin™, the juxtaposition of love and violence, and the dangers of hunting with a nihilist. Enjoy this thirty minute descent into madness and please spend ten minutes staring at a mirror afterwards. Not at yourself, just the mirror. Search for the inconsistencies, friends, and report them to our website at your convenience. Yours in jocularity, Ben Hur. |
Your Favorite Freelance Disembodied VoicesWe don't have the answers. We barely have the questions. What we do have is way too much spare time. Archives
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